Not from any infraction of mine own, I was forced again to succumb and taste the sting of leather across my flesh. Marius reminds me time and again, that I am endlessly beneath him. I can only grit my teeth and bare this intense pain for so long a time, before I surrender and cry out in anguish. Mercy! How I long for the end of my pain yielding to forgiveness. Yet the lashings do not cease until my mind is blurred with a rush of confusing and pleasurable endorphins. How did I become this way? Though I cannot remember when I wasn't like this.
Striped and bloodied beneath my shirt, I will endure this aching reminder for well over a week. Yet I do not hate him. It is quite the contrary that I find myself desiring more reason to be with him, yet with feeble attempt to obtain my Master's notice and approval. I am a wretch of a creature. Scarcely a man sometimes. Yet I am bent to the desire of one greater than I could ever dream of being. I am not worthy, I think, to even press my lips into the dust beneath the soles of his feet.
