On the way downstairs to the second floor where Papillion was waiting for me to return to her, I found her still fast asleep. And I was glad, for I expected I would find her awake and so very angry at me for having broke my promise to return to her the night before. I slipped down between the sheets with her, quiet as you please.. and I waited for her to slowly rouse, hoping she would think I had been with her all along.
"We have to leave soon, Papillion," I whispered to her, reminding her it was the first day for auditions. When she came to, she insisted on cooking breakfast first.. since I do not know how to cook very well. But with Edgar on vacation so long, I think Papillion found very little to work with.
"We will have to go to the market on the way back," she said.
I did not think we would be home until well after sunset, and I knew we would be starving out of our minds. But.. for her.. I think I do not mind a few hunger pangs.
Less than halfway into the day, the very idea that filling Marius shoes was a monumental task that I was ill prepared for, had begun to sink in. I only wanted to help him; to pick up the fallen slack until he was well enough to return. But the Actors do not respect me the way they respect him. Perhaps they can see in my eyes how easily intimidated I am, if they should grumble or complain in the least. Too, I allowed Papillion to coerce me to the platform and read lines with her, for she thinks I would be perfectly cast as the role of Will.. lead man and hero of the play. Yet I could scarcely read the words on the paper in my shaking hands before I was overcome with a sudden urge to.. run and relieve myself.
It was when I had returned to merely observe from the shadows of the great rehearsal hall.. that I met him. Papillion's companion. He had set his hands to my shoulders and whispered to me, so many assurances. His breath was warm in my ear, and when I closed my eyes.. I believed him. I believed every word.
"I will take over for you, Damos. Don't worry about a thing.. my son." Domitian called off the Auditions for the day, ending them at the Tenth Ahn, rather than letting the circus drag on til after sunset.
He is my savior.
