I did not know how to answer that. Even when her voice had softened considerably into more soothing tones than it had been only moments ago. And still I kept my eyes shut tight.
"Please, Papillion.. Lady. I did not mean to make you mad. I did not know."
"Get up Damos.. I'm.. I'm not going to... hit you." I felt her hand lay down softly upon my shoulder then. "Get up.." She shook my shoulder gently, "Come on."
But I could not make myself rise. Instead I turned around upon my knees and threw my arms around her waist, burying my face against her bare belly. And unable to stop the tears that finally came, "Why didn't you kiss me, Papillion? Why didn't you kiss me?" She had said she loved me.. and yet I did not begin to understand her rejection. It had hurt me.
"B-because.. I didn't want D-Domitian to hurt you Damos.. he was going to hurt you if I k-kissed you in front of him. H-h-he was so angry about us." Her own voice broke into shorter stammerings as my distress completed it's revolutionary conduit right through her and back again.
"But.. you said you loved me."
When I failed to rise, Papillion sunk down to her knees and joined me on the floor. Her kisses were soft and reassuring; full of a woman's tears and tender forgiveness. And I swallowed them down as if I'd not been kissed in so many years.
Before she left.. for she must return before Domitian awoke and discovered her missing from their bed.. she took my hand in hers and pushed it down into the shadowy recess between her legs, where she was still moist from her earlier late-night, somnambulant need. And then she whispered to me...
"La kajira."
